Fare thee well, facebook!

I decided to quit facebook recently. I suppose you could say “it’s been a long time coming.” Why, you may ask, did I do such a thing? Well, there are many reasons, some more embarrassing than others. Let me start with the things that made this decision difficult.

·         Easy access to friends and acquaintances. Let’s be honest. It’s much easier to find, friend and contact someone on facebook than any other venue. 

·         Being in “the know.” I don’t just follow friends and sort-of-friends. I follow my favorite bands, books, companies, news sources – you can pretty much follow anyone or anything on facebook.

·         Nabbing those great deals. Dan and I found out about a survey you could take through a university research group that would give you up to $75 based on referrals. We did it. We actually got $75 each. I’ve also seen posts about awesome sales and steals.

·         Pure nostalgia. I’ve been on facebook since I was a junior in high school. I had to be invited by a friend with a college email address at that time. How cool is that, right? Riiiight. As pathetic as it sounds, I like to occasionally flip through my old photos, conversations, etc.

·         I can’t shake the little PR voice in my head. I can’t tell you how many times I was taught in my PR classes that I need to be involved in and familiar with social media sites and trends. Even as I type this entry, the little voice keeps nagging me.

·         The stalking. Yeah, I have a tendency to stalk friends, random acquaintances, estranged friends, random friends-of-friends – you name it. The sad part? I kinda enjoy it. When someone says, “Did you know so-and-so just got married to what’s-his-face from freshman year?” I like being able to say, “Yes! They’re actually expecting! Can you say, ‘honeymoon baby?’”

The last one is a problem.  It’s even more of a problem when you consider the fact that it was on my list of reasons NOT to quit facebook. Which is also why it made #1 on my second list.

Reasons for quitting:

·         The stalking. I remember sitting on my laptop in class at BYU one day. I was looking at my husband’s facebook page (then boyfriend) when the guy sitting behind me leaned forward and said, “Hey! You know Dan Condie?”

“Yes, we’re dating …” I replied, feeling awkward for some reason I couldn’t quite place.

“So good to meet you! Dan and I served in the same mission! Tell him you met Elder Insert-name-of-mission-buddy-here! So random that we have a class together, huh?”

“Haha, yeah, I’ll tell him I talked to you!” still feeling awkward …

Why did I feel so uncomfortable? I thought about it for a while. Really, it wasn’t that weird. So I was looking at my boyfriend’s facebook page and a friend of his saw. But … what if I had just looked at his page and the friend hadn’t said anything? What if he just watched for a little while? What if I proceeded to find one of Dan’s ex-girlfriends and stalk her for a bit? What if I was just stalking a friend of a friend and when my classmate asked me if I knew the person? I’d have to respond with, “Umm, no.  Just a friend of a friend.” Or if I felt too embarrassed, would I have made up some connection?

Awkward? Yes. Granted, I shouldn’t have been on facebook in the middle of class. In my defense, it was Physical Science, so really there was no harm done. But still. I have stalked random friends-of-friends. And that’s a problem. And that’s reason Numero Uno for deactivating facebook. 

·         I can’t shake the little PR voice in my head. Here are the facts: I’m not a PR professional. I may never be, actually. I’m a wife. I’m a stay-at-home mom. I LOVE my “job.” I do much better at my current job when I’m not distracted by everyone’s lives on facebook. I enjoyed my major. I’m so glad I studied what I did and finished my degree. But right now, facebook is not where I need to be. I need to be at home with my little boy. I need to be giving him the attention he deserves. I need to get things done so that when my husband comes home from grueling days of studying, he doesn’t see a house full of filth.

·         Accessing but never communicating. Earlier, I mentioned how I’d miss the easy access of friends and acquaintances. What I won’t miss is the lack of actual communication. When my husband asks, “Have you heard how so-and-so is doing?” I shouldn’t begin by saying, “Well, I saw on facebook that …” Whatever happened to a good, old fashioned phone call? Or even an email (Ha! My grandpa would love the idea of email being “old fashioned!”)? I mean, hi, my cell phone is tethered to my body 95% of the time. Why not hold it up to my ear every once in a while? If I can tell you all that has gone on in the life of what’s-her-face in the last week, but can’t recall the last time I actually spoke to her – or even just communicated directly with her – that’s a problem.

·         Getting pissed off at things that have nothing to do with me and I’d never even know about if it weren’t for facebook. Please excuse my language. You know how they say “ignorance is bliss?” Well, I’m of the opinion that ignorance usually isn’t, but I’m pretty sure obliviousness can be. Why am I getting worked up about other people’s lives or decisions that don’t actually affect me? Because I saw it on facebook? Pa-thetic.

·         Being able to remain nostalgic. Guess what I found out? You can actually download all of your past messages, photos, notes, etc. and save them to your hard drive for FOREVER! How sweet potatoes is that? You can’t download wall posts or other people’s photos (unless you want to go through them one-by –one), but isn’t the idea of having a permanent record of your facebook to flip through whenever you so desire just so … heartwarming?!

I could provide you with more reasons, but this post is getting a little too intense in the length department for me. What really solidified my decision, however, occurred over the past week. We decided to switch ISPs just before winter break, but we misjudged a couple of timing issues and have thus been without the luxury of internet in our home since December 16^th (don’t take a deep breath of aghast-ness just yet. We left for our long vacation the evening of December 16^th and only returned on January 2^nd). Still, from January 2-10, we had no internet unless we trudged up to the apartment office during office hours and used the super-slow, archaic computers they have there. During that period of time, I learned that I actually DON’T need to check my facebook too keep the world from careening out of orbit and into oblivion.

So that’s that.

Farewell, facebook! By the end of this week, you will no longer be a part of my life (unless I decide to nostalgically flip through your permanent record on my external hard drive). Ha.

P.S. In case you haven’t heard, I’m privatizing the blog, too. If you haven’t given me your email address and would like to be added to “The List,” comment or email me with your addy!