Cooking with the Condies : Ten reasons why moms should never have to be sick

12 January 2013

Ten reasons why moms should never have to be sick

Ten grossly under-represents the reasons why moms should never be sick, but for the sake of brevity, we'll go with it. And we'll do it Letterman style.

10. There is nobody to take care of you. When dad is sick, you baby and pamper and wait on him. When you're sick, dad has to work -- and somehow, babying and pampering and waiting on yourself just doesn't seem to have the same effect.

9. Even though it feels like the world should stop and wait for you to catch up ... it doesn't. And it won't. And in the weeks after your recovery, you'll still struggle to get back to "normal" (whatever the heck that is).

8. Mom's tend to feel like they're not doing a great job even when they're in prime, tip-top condition. Factor in a dash of sickness and stir it up with motherly insecurities and you've got a big ol' pot of crazy about to boil over.

7. There are no magical nymphs to help you with the cleaning while you're sick. The magical nymphs that you wish would do all the cleaning on your sick days have a tendency to take the same days off.

6. The words, "I'm sick," mean one thing to your toddler: Mommy obviously needs more hugs and kisses. Which is really cute, except when said toddler jumps on top of your aching stomach to give you a big smooch on your pounding head.

5. A mom's dues should be considered "paid" whenever her kiddos are sick. You already get to clean up everyone else's bodily expulsions.

4. Your infant will do everything in his or her power to make sure you are never without a friend to commiserate with -- even at all hours of the night.

3. Barney may help with the babysitting, but after a couple days, it feels like Barney has sat on your brain. And squished it.

2. Your children will blow-out of their diapers Every. Single. Time. Why? Because you're sick. Even if they're not.

1. You will never, EVER, be able to find a good enough excuse for your toddler to explain why you're lying on the floor and not playing toys. Said toddler will have cures for every ailment, refutes for every excuse, and if those fail, said toddler will sit on your head. And pinch you. While yelling, "MOMMY WAKE UP!"

In case you couldn't guess ... I was sick last week. Oh, what fun it was!

Not.

But you know what? I still love being a mom ... even if it's significantly less enjoyable when I'm sick, it's still the best job in the world. And I wouldn't trade it. Ever.

Now, for your viewing pleasure: